“Love yourself. Love yourself because you have something that you here to offer. Why else did your parents have you? You were a gift, and it is up to us to find out what that gift is. We are still developing as well. I'm 51 and I am still discovering my gifts. As long as you know that you can love yourself and people are going to love you, you are worth it.” These inspiring words come from Ray John Jr.,  a member of the Turtle clan from the Oneida Nation, part of the Six Nations of the Iroquois Confederacy. He’s a husband and father of two teenage boys. He’s been an educator for 35 years and is the cultural advisor for the London district Catholic school board in London, Ontario.

John grew up on the Oneida settlement since he was born and attended a federal Indian Day School where he was abused. He experienced physical abuse and humiliation by the teachers, something he hid until he finally shared with his mom. She was very upset and had no idea it was going on. Outside of his school experiences, his childhood was wonderful. While he grew up in poverty, he didn’t feel disadvantaged. His home was nice and clean, he was well fed and had a cultural upbringing with his parents and grandparents. He learned his language and ceremonies.

While his educational path was difficult, John was the first in his family to graduate high school, despite having recently lost his grandfather. His grandmother saw him graduate and he was first to go to university. He got homesick and dropped out the first time, returning home to work. He returned and got a degree in education, becoming a classroom assistant.

His advice for students leaving for post secondary is to stay true to who you are.

“The identity part was very crucial for me, and I didn't lose that part. I didn't try to go somewhere else and be somebody else. I didn't try to act a certain way.” That’s what he taught his kids when they went to university, “If you decide to leave home to go knowing that you carry that in your heart that you are pure, that you are Anishinaabe, you are Haudenosaunee, you are all of these beautiful things that set forth so that you can do this, and whatever it is that you decide to do, I know that there will be so many people that will support you.”

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When it comes to the importance of Indigenous people getting an education, John says, “I think it is very important because we start breaking ground, and we hear so many stories of the first doctor, the first lawyer, the first teacher, and all in our communities, and that is something to live by. That's something to be proud of, knowing they did it and carved out a way for us. The education part is so important because it almost seems like they don't recognize us unless they have that paper in the hand. They don't recognize us as being knowledge sharers, as pipe carriers, as ceremonial keepers, but when we have that paper now, they understand what it means. Education is a vital part of that, we can walk that line between that education and the education of our people. Don't feel that you have to pick and choose, take both. Why not have the best of both worlds?”

In explaining what Truth and Reconciliation means to him, John explains it is what he did for himself in letting go of hatred and anger so he can give back, building homes. It’s also sharing stories so people understand what happened to him and his ancestors. “It is not to place guilt, it is not to place shame on them. It is not to create we are victims. We only have these to share so that when we go forward, we can create a beautiful world, knowing we are a part of it, it is not something that is off to the side. To me, truth and reconciliation is doing the work, what you witnessed and saw, so that it will continue, so that other people will come forward and say, I can do that too. I can help out in this way. That is truth and reconciliation to me.”

To explain to someone who does not believe or understand John says, “These are stories that go across Canada, and how can we be lying? I'm only 51 years old, look at all the other stories that came before us. There's stories after stories after stories, and we're not lying. We're only speaking out because we have our voice. So either get off to the side, or else you stand with us so that they make everybody else listen.”

If John could share a message with Indigenous youth about recognizing and acknowledging survivors during Truth and Reconciliation week, it would be, “Sit and listen. It will impact you in a different way. Of course, there are going to be tears, there's going to be anger, there's going to be upset, but know that what they went through so that we can do stuff like this, having these podcasts, having these videos. We weren't able to do that 40, 50 years ago. Take advantage of it, knowing we were hurt, and we're doing something about it. Continue to do something about it. Get your education, learn your ceremonies, learn your language, be proud of who you are, because there was a long fight, and we continue to fight today. I stand with all of my ancestors, regardless of where they are, and knowing I take their voice with me everywhere I go, especially my father, who was my mentor in all of this. When he found out I was working for a Catholic school, I was afraid to tell him, but he said, ‘you teach them, you show them that we are not stupid people. We are great people, and we have so many things that we offer, and we continue to offer today’. You are sitting there knowing you have a great legacy in front of you, and continue to be that legacy. The footprints are there. Walk through them and be proud of who you are.”

To manage his mental health, John goes to spirit. He cries, something that was looked down on but he encourages that there is no shame in that. He participates in ceremony like pipe ceremonies, smudging and sweats and talks about his experiences. Having a strong spirit has helped his physical health, too.

His relationship with education started off rocky at a federal Indian Day School, but now he’s an educator building a strong foundation for today’s youth in the classroom. Ray John Jr. grew up poor in money but rich in culture and identity and he’s passed that down to his children as a legacy. Speaking out for himself and other survivors, he’s sharing what Truth and Reconciliation means and what people can do about it, with a message of hope for the next generation.

Thank you to Alison Tedford for writing this article.