If at first you don’t succeed, try again - that’s a lesson Lance Gray demonstrates in his journey and it’s how he came to be doing what he always wanted to do. He was born and raised in Inuvik, Northwest Territories and he’s a university student working at the Aurora Research Institute in the summer. This is his second attempt at post-secondary education; he dropped out the first time after three years and took about seven years off.

When he was away from school, Gray went to therapy and found he had ADHD, anxiety and depression. Being treated for those conditions made a big difference in his life and he found he was able to get things done. That sense of accomplishment made him feel confident enough to apply to go back to school.

The program he applied to was linguistics, something he has always been fascinated with. “I've always been interested in language for as long as I can remember. I liked learning languages. I liked learning patterns of languages, which I imagine, like a musician that's grown up playing by ear is just like, ‘oh, this is what that sound is’, or ‘this is what that sequence of sounds is that I already know’. That was me going to linguistics,” he explains.

His mother, who is an Inuvialuit residential school survivor, didn’t learn her language but tried to use the words she knew at home. She would learn different words in the languages of tourists and passed her interest in language learning onto Gray. Now, in linguistics, Gray learns more of the nuances of translation.

Gray’s advice for students leaving their communities to study is the same as his advice for those staying: “whether you want to stay in your community or leave, you have to do it with everything you've got, your whole heart.” He advocates for confidence in whatever choice you make, whether to stay or leave, and curiosity and openness to learn wherever you are. In leaving, he was able to experience many new things and it was good for him, but he believes you can be happy and learn a lot and spend your whole life in one place, too.

When it comes to obstacles, Gray has struggled with negative self talk and poor self esteem. He has struggled with a lack of self confidence, drinking and smoking too much marijuana. By working on himself, he was able to overcome his need for substances and also eventually come off of antidepressants. While he enjoys an occasional drink, it’s not something he relies on anymore.

If he could share a message with his younger self it would be to be okay with asking for help and also with not knowing what to do. “I think a lot of pressure was placed on myself for feeling like I had to be doing something, like have to go to university, which I did, and I became very sad, and then I became even more sad when I couldn't do that. It was almost like a compounding thing that I put on myself to make myself feel bad, which I didn't need to do. If I had known that, I could just maybe take time to reflect on what I want and ask for help if I needed it, that would have helped a lot,” Gray reflects. He also wished he knew adults don’t always know what they’re doing just because they are adults and that you build capacity over time.

To maintain his mental wellness, Gray takes part in counselling to work through things, but recognizes he is the one who has to work, nothing is going to fix him magically. Having a mindfulness practice has also been helpful as well as practicing stillness. Spending time talking to friends, family and other people helps him stop overthinking things just by saying things out loud. Going for a walk or playing sports can help, too.

As far as inspiration, Gray looks to the people in his life who are honest with themselves and others. He is also inspired by watching videos of people doing things, finding it motivates him to do things as well. Someone else who inspired him is his dad who is non-Indigenous and very curious about the world. His dad’s travel stories influenced him growing up.

Something he wants Indigenous youth to know is something he told participants in an entrepreneur growth workshop, “The idea of faking it till you make it doesn't sit too well with me.” What he means by that is even the first time you’re trying something new, you’re doing it, you’re not faking it. That’s why he hopes people cut themselves some slack. “You're doing exactly what you need to do in the moment that you're doing it, and the more pressure you put on yourself is just going to hinder your own growth. You're not faking it, you're doing exactly what you need to do, and you'll learn as you go along,” he reaffirms, hoping youth won’t question whether they are Indigenous enough, Inuvialuit enough or boss enough and just be themselves, doing what they need to do to grow.

He may not have succeeded in his first attempt at university, but he ended up right where he needed to be, and he learned important lessons in the process. Finding a path to treatment for mental health challenges and to studying linguistics, Lance Gray was able to make a comeback to school and to a life that brings him satisfaction. Leaving home brought many opportunities and committing to the process with his whole heart, he was able to explore his love of languages and thrive.

Thanks to Alison Tedford Seaweed for authoring this article.