“Even though it's hard, we can still make a change,” says Ivana Yellowback. She is registered with Manto Sipi Cree Nation which is part of Treaty 5 and is from Mathias Colomb Cree Nation on her dad’s side. She grew up connected to both sides of her family and to both communities but was born and raised in Winnipeg.

When it comes to her education, Yellowback considers her first learning being raised in her family, being taught by grandparents and aunties and growing up where her language was always spoken. Hunting, fishing, berry and mint picking, attending ceremonies, canoeing, and boating, she learned traditional practices from her relatives.

Yellowback graduated with a mature high school diploma a year late as she went through a rebellious phase. “That’s why I always tell folks, even when you're 19, 20 plus, it's never too late to graduate. If you feel that you have a calling within yourself, go for it. Go for that grade 12 and post secondary,” she explains.

After graduation, Yellowback went to University of Winnipeg for eight years, completing her honours degree in sociology part time while working full time. She also completed a Bachelor of Social Work and she's working on her master’s degree. When she was little, her aunt Harriet told her she would graduate from there.  

Her advice to a youth preparing to leave their community to pursue their education in the city is that there are a lot of amazing resources and programs in the city. Yellowback worked with one called Restoring the Sacred where they taught life skills, did outings, watched movies and students would have supper, snacks, and bus tickets available to them after school. After a year, participants would become mentors in the program, receiving honorariums towards school credits. Yellowback suggests connecting with a school counsellor to find out what is available in their community, as well as joining after school programs for motivation, inspiration and support.

To maintain balance herself, Yellowback listens to her body about what it needs and what she needs to focus on. It’s something she learned after struggling with anxiety as a teen. She has learned to sit with the land, water and plants with her troubles, praying with sage and making tea with it. With all the reading, writing and processing trauma work in her graduate program, she is resting, taking breaks, nourishing her body, hydrating, and making sure she is doing the things she loves when everything gets overwhelming. She likes to read and watch hockey, feeling a connection to others who are watching with her.  

When it comes to obstacles, her parents were day school scholars and her grandparents, aunts and uncles were residential school survivors. Growing up in the inner city, Yellowback got caught up in drugs and gangs. She has cousins who went missing and who were murdered or who passed away from drug poisoning, alcohol and violence. It was a lot to take in while trying to live a good life.

At 12 years old, Yellowback started drinking and she decided she wanted to get sober at 19, disliking the cycle of arguments, hangovers, missing belongings and emptiness. Drinking felt like the only way she connected with her family but even they were concerned about her wellbeing. She put in boundaries around not being around substances and lost friends but persevered, finally able to process the constant loss in her community.

“I think that's what really helped me through those barriers, was activating that power within me in a way that was healthy, and also looking to my family for that motivation, inspiration, who were healthy at that time,” Yellowback reflects. Community mentors, chosen aunties and siblings held her accountable and motivated her. Her spirit helpers and the Creator also helped keep her sober. “When you really give that trust to those higher powers, it's like those things don't feel as large,” she recalls.

If Yellowback could give a message to her younger self it would be, “There's a lot more that she will be doing, and that she is worth a lot more than what maybe she thought of during that time, and she's really loved and supported by so many people, by family, but also in the spirit world, the spirit realm, and to lean on that and to know that there's a lot more beauty out there in the world, and that this at that time is not all of it. Things will pass. Things will change. When things pass, they get so beautiful. The life that you have now in the future, you would not even fathom or even dream about having at that time, but it's reachable. It's attainable. It's a beautiful life. You're doing everything that you wanted to do or dreamt about doing, and so it's beautiful. Just keep going, and all those that are trying to affect you or hurt you or bring you to a different path, that's not it, that's not the direction. There's only darker things down there. Life, this can be beautiful, and you just have to walk towards it. If that means leaving other people that aren't at that time, then that's okay.”

“Even if our young people struggle, we can still turn around and still be healthy aunties and healthy relatives, and change those cycles for our next generations to come.”

Her message to someone who is struggling right now would be, “You're not alone. You are so powerful and have so many beautiful gifts within you that despite everything that's going around you and the hurricane and the tornado, that this moment will pass, these hurt feelings, this anger, this rage, just take your time breathing through it and start looking for those things, our supports that will help you get out of those things. Whatever that thing is, could be a home environment, could be an unhealthy relationship, could be feeling stuck. There's always support out there, there's always help out there and it's not forever. You will get through it. It will pass, and there's life after, and it's beautiful.”

After going through all she has, Ivana Yellowback knows that even though it’s hard, we can still make a change. Getting sober, graduating late, getting two bachelor’s degrees and going on to get her master’s, she’s found a path forward to get her formal education. Thriving at the university her Aunt Harriet said she would attend one day, she trusted in higher powers and got through hard times towards better days.

Thank you to Alison Tedford for writing this article!